Dana Mladin

Why legally, if illegally it’s simpler? :(

How much does it cost for a guy to get me a medical record so that I can change my driver’s license?

I don’t know, as I thought I’d do it the legal way.

I called the call center of a well-known clinic, where I understood that 6 doctors had to examine me. They managed to combine the appointments so that I could go to the clinic only once and solve it all, after obtaining a paper from the family doctor that I am not a danger to humanity.


I showed up at the clinic, ready for a time trial race, a surprise race, because I had no idea what kind of doctors I had to go to.

I received instructions from the reception. I only needed the map of the neighborhood, considering that the 6 consultations were in 3 different buildings, some across the street from others, another around the corner, a little further on.

Everything went smoothly! I went in even faster than the schedule, I was also examined, not just given a paper, which, frankly, made me happy.

The psychiatrist was the first. He asked me if I could hear voices. I wish I were a kind of Mel Gibson…

Do you feel followed? No, because I don’t post that much J.

Have you ever woken up somewhere without knowing how you got there? God, how I wish I could wake up like that in certain places on the planet!

I denied briefly, the rest was just a thought. But I asked him what madman would say “Yes” to one of these questions? He said he could figure, because the problems people have show one way or another. I hope.

In ophthalmology I was lucky that the doctor only tested my eagle eyes, not my reading eyes, as there I am a disaster. Then she tested my color recognition ability, to make sure I could see which traffic light was red and which was green. Then she passed the good vision test with flying colors: she told me she knew me from TV J.

The neurologist – let’s get started with the little hammer, how is your back, walk on the tips, put your index finger on your nose – uh, good thing I didn’t drink.

The ears, nose and throat specialist understood right away I could hear…

In the Internal Medicine department, I was sure that the blood pressure would be high, because I had just had a fight with the reception girl.

I was on the verge of praising these people for the perfect timing of the two hours of racing between buildings, when… the orthopedist I had an appointment with told me calmly that he had no right to put his signature on the driving license sheets. Say what? I had made all the appointments through the call center mentioning it is for the driving license and I was “assigned” to each doctor knowing why I need to go to him.

Well, too bad. Very bad, I’d say, because there was no orthopedic doctor in the clinic.

“Come tomorrow”. Really?!? What if I had the license change scheduled for tomorrow?

Well, it wasn’t good anyway, because I had to leave the sheet with all the signatures for one day in the clinic, to be closed by someone, as far as I understand.

Therefore, I would have to go to another orthopedist the next day, then one day later I had to come and get the sheet. Well, what is this?? You spoiled it all at the end, after everything had gone so well??

I lost my temper, I have to admit.

Wouldn’t it be better if I went to the guys who give you the complete file in a few minutes, probably for the same money I paid at the clinic? Wouldn’t it be better to avoid the fun all the acquaintances made of me, as they couldn’t understand why I was going to do it legally?

And that is how one of these things makes you to regret you chose not to do anything illegal… Damn!

I won’t come here three times! – I told the receptionist. I don’t know how, but tomorrow, after I show my bones to the orthopedist, they should put their back into it and give me the paper!

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